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VGA: WE'RE BETTER THAN THIS

15 Dec 2008

I turned on the Spike TV Video Game Awards tonight because, you know, it's the only video game awards show out there. For us developer-types we get the AIAS awards and the DICE summit and all that good stuff, but as far as consumer-facing awards shows go, the VGA is it.

Which is really unfortunate, because I could only make it to the first commercial break before turning it off in disgust. Yeah, I know, it's Spike TV. What did I expect?

Still, you'd think they could do us the slightest bit of justice. Games are pretty mainstream now, and a lot of very talented people have worked damn hard to make that happen. So what does the VGA open with? Jack Black having sex with his game consoles, dancing on stage in his underwear (against a backdrop of overweight balding guys in recliners, also in their underwear) while singing about how awesome video games are, and then enlisting the assistance of his illustrious musical ally to drive off the specter of "healthy relationships" (depicted as a doting young woman in a heart costume).

Oh, and there were scantily-clad women with angel wings all over the place. Because all gamers care about is blood and tits, apparently.

Don't get me wrong: on its own merits, the intro *was *pretty funny, in its particularly low-brow way. And in no way am I knocking Jack Black; I mean, that dude's awesome. But come on... fucking your 360? Depicting "healthy relationships" as an enemy to be defeated? Way to roll back 15 years of social progress, Spike. I'll enjoy explaining that one to my non-gamer parents next time they ask what the hell I'm doing with my life.

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video-games